Have a martini, pop a pill, and fuck your husband

Let the dog leave his mistress and watch him get lost

Mind, filled with fairytales.
New ones every day,
don't ask me anything now
I know what you're waiting.
The curtain to fall.

I don't know how I fell in love
but the road is long
and I can´t find my way back

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb, he said.
But sometimes I´m the lion and sometimes it´s you.

Names don't mean anything, hear the lady sing.
All human rights are now cancelled,
you need to handle
the dreams of the day.

Who we are and what we do doesn't matter anymore. We'll do it a cappella like a 2pac lyric. Life goes on with all eyes on me. Lady sings the blues and the dreams of the day are forgotten before they come to life.

"Oh, be my valentine",
play along with an angel
with silver tongue,
play with a stranger.

Whatever one wishes will appear in ones essence. Be my Valentine, Angel, and play my strings. Let's make music in dark nights, let's make our melody last forever.

This is the achievement of the idea of an angel.

I cannot understand you,
to me you live in a world of chaos.
Life is a play you star on,
to you it's all a game.

You're talking about some kind of order. But all i can see is chaos. And the worst chaos is my mind. Swimming, stumbling, falling apart. And the universe is some crazy place. My mind is time traveling and making it all one of those things you´ll never be old enough to understand.

Magical mystical tornadoes are coming your way. And I'm slowly getting brainwashed.

Drowning in a collection of our finest moments.

Memories suffocating me and I wanna go back. Drowning in a never ending glass of red red wine and the print of your loveless lips.

Why can't I leave today, and escape your funny ways.
You are a one person riot, far in the horizon.
Done for the day.

I will just have to hope I'm done with you. Done for the day, done forever. I try to walk away but i can't. I wonder if you ever knew. If you ever heard our song like I did. Everyday people walk through life like it matters. You soar through life on a tidal wave, like it's all a game. Don't hate the player, you said. I don't. And I love the game. But I hate it when you cheat.

I outsmart you. I am wise,
I defeat you any way I like.
But you got me forced into a fall.
I am your slave, down on the floor.

I used to be smart. Used to control you. But I´m afraid I've lost control and I'm falling. The walls are closing in and there's a hole in the ground before me. I think about jumping every day.

And to you it's still all a game you play with me.

Jar of love isn´t dry until the last drop falls

When I'm looking in your eyes
Everything seems to fade away

I know it´s stupid. I know I should´n walk into your trap once again. But I´m afraid it´s already too late. There´s just something about you. Something that blows my brains out and make me scared and helpless, strong and beautiful, confused and confident...

"Hey, my love, I'm sorry but we can't go on 'cause
I'm in love with someone else"
Tell me, what do you want me to say
When you treat me this way

I trusted you once. Never again. Never will I give anyone my heart like I gave it to you. Never will I trust in love like I trusted in yours. Never will I believe it´s all happiness again. Never again.

I love you, maybe
And I hope it goes away
how I want you daily
I know it's gonna stay

I don´t know if it is love. What it was, what it is. It´s gone and it´s back and it´s there forever and never. But every time I see you I die a little inside. Every time I see you I slowly go crazy. The bedroom became the black room and I wasn´t prepared.

Every woman has an itch and every nice girl secretly wants to switch.

You are so self satisfied
Always ready for a ride
Double crossing, lousy cheat, love you anyway
You have warm and tender devils soul, you are so low

She says God never gives you more than you can handle. It´s just breath control. Breath control. I lose my breath and reach for something. Something to hold on to. Like I wanted to hold on to you. When I hated you the most. Hated you till it hurt. Hated you from my white bed. White walls, white sheets, white hours and days. Hated you and loved you and hated that I loved you.

"I'm sorry, should we still go on,
I'm not in love with that someone else"

I always wanted what I couldn´t have. It´s easier that way. But you I wanted when you wanted me and when you didn´t. When you loved me and when you walked away. When you loved her and when you watched me go down in flames. But you only want me when you cannot have me. We´re parts of the same symphony, you and I.

The moment I will step aside,
you're ready for another ride
Walking in the cool night air without underwear
You have red light burning in your soul,
I've seen the glow

You´re a devil in disguise and a God in my eyes and I hate you and love you and hate that I love you. And I need you to be gone. I need some soft, soft drugs, I need to be gone. I need to be somewhere beautiful when I die.

In every dream I have I say:
"I'm not in love with you"
But every day I say I do

And I don´t know what is dream and what is real and what is true and how I feel.
And I´m so tired. So tired and exhausted and I lost my brain somewhere on the way. I cannot breath, I cannot feel.

I wanna keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder. Later.

My only crime was I fell in love with a lion

As you can see, when you look at me,
I'm pieces of what I used to be.

Last night kind of screwed every plan I ever had. Yes, I admit, I needed something to happen. That was definitely not it. Now the new year is fucked, and I am too, until further instructions.

It's easier when you don't see me
standing on my own two feet.
I'm taller when I sit here still,
you ask are all my dreams fulfilled.

´Cause you don´t see me
and you don´t need me
and you don´t love me
the way I wish you would
the way I know you could

They made me a heart of steel,
the kind them bullets cannot see

But even steel can break. Steel and porcelain. Just like glass. My head is in a glass prison. And for the first time in my life I don´t want it to break free. But there´s ONE basic fact. GLASS IS GONNA BREAK. If you use glass, you´re going to break glass. Broken glass can expose users to what was contained within. Like my head, my mind, my thoughts. And that can be dangerous. Right now I´d say that IS dangerous.

Nothing's what it seems to be,
Empty shell inside of me
I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me

I don´t know me anymore. I don´t know who I´ve become. I turn nightmares into revelations. Stay away from lonely places.

The light is green, My slate is clean,
New life to fill the hole in me

A hole inside. Darkness tearing my soul apart. Green light. Alert! Who am I? I wanna strangle the stars for all they promised me...

I had no name, last December,
Christmas Eve I can't remember
I was in a constant pain,
I saw your shadow in the rain

Christmas - joy, holiday, happiness... Kindness is overrated when you lose control. I wanna watch you lose control. Like I did. Go down in flames. I wanna watch you in the darkness.

I painted all your pictures red,
I wish I had stayed home instead

I wanna go back. You ask me to come home. But nowhere feels like home anymore, so I don´t know where to go. And I can´t go back. Can´t go back. The sound of something terrible happening.

I fall asleep and dream a dream,
I'm floating in the silent stream

A silent stream of nothingness surrounds me. I see a faceless Jesus and a smiling devil dancing in the air in front of me. Where did I go wrong? Oh my God I was there that night!

No-one placing blame on me
But nothing's what it seems to be

I guess it´s all an illusion. At least I know now. I wished for something more, but I guess... I was wrong all along. The world is made of glass. The world is bound to break. I went home but I didn´t go in. Like he boiled down his days to coffee I wanna boil down my life to damp.

Last night kind of screwed up everything. And now all is lost. All is gone. "I´ve come to Los Angeles to die", she says. I came home to live. I guess I chose the wrong path.

I´m home again, I won the war
and now I am behind the door...

. . .

Du drømmer ulykkelige drømmer. Og du savner.

Savner Ham.

Han er rett og slett høyt elsket og dypt savnet.
Helt tilfeldig skrur du på tven. Og der er Han!
Sitter der på tv-skjermen og stirrer på deg - med sitt vakre smil og bustete hår.

Du blir sittende programmet ut - det varer nesten en time.
Du får ikke med deg hva programmet handler om eller hva som skjer.
Du bare sitter og ser på Ham.

Plutselig kommer alt tilbake og det er som om det var igår.
Du vet ikke om du skal gråte eller le der du sitter midt på gulvet i en time
- stirrende på tv-skjermen.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Bestevenninnen var på date idag. Mens Panchita savner.